Shortly after posting Baggage Mininal, Please I recived quite a few text messages. I recieved the first one from the man I had dated and wrote about. He asked me why I wrote about him.
Frankly, I didn’t think he remembered me telling him that I write this blog. If he did remember he would have also remembered that I write about pretty much everything that happens in my dating life. Telling guys about it is their warning to what will come next. I never write about people out of spite. (I tend to draft those untill I can have a clear consensous about what I am trying to see if learned anything from the situation.)
The next message came from his wife. (Yes, his wife.) She cleared a few things up for me. Letting me know they were married and could prove it with a marriage license. After making some what of a truce, she asked me to tell her everything that happened. I did.
I see it as I deserved to know everything and she told me that. I owed her the same, because we both have been cheated. She was cheated on and lied to, but I was cheated out of the truth.
Turns out that my instincts where right. He was married, and I was made a secret. Never in my life do I want to be a secret to anyone or play second fiddle to anyone. Nor, should anyone who doesn’t choose to. What I have done from the beginning of dating him was ended because that is what my instincts told me to do.
Cheater, Cheater, Pumpkin Eater.
Cheating can break your relationship most of the time. Cheating effects both parties emotionally. I know this because I have been cheated on and cheated on someone.
A few years back, I was in a committed relationship. In the beginning of our two year relationship I cheat on my boyfriend with my ex/his “friend”. The feeling is horrible. I think that it takes some one who really doesn’t care not to feel horrible about it. I spent nights crying about it and asking a friend if I should tell him. I did and we broke up for a while. Most recently, I got cheated on. He told me just like I had told my ex. He cried and told me he understood if I left him. I didn’t.
See the thing about cheating is not everyone applies to the whole “once a cheater always a cheater”. I think when someone seeks to cheat on you and has no shame then be mad. If they do it and feel remorseful then give them one more chance. Sure after that there will be some trust issues but if you see that person genuinely sorry about what they did, try.
I rarely have told people about me cheating because they will see me as a cheater. What they don’t know is that I was abused for it. So much so that I am deathly afraid of cheating again. But honestly, would you tell someone you cheated in the past if you though that they would stay in your future, or does your past say in the past?