Cheater, Cheater, Pumpkin Eater.
Cheating can break your relationship most of the time. Cheating effects both parties emotionally. I know this because I have been cheated on and cheated on someone.
A few years back, I was in a committed relationship. In the beginning of our two year relationship I cheat on my boyfriend with my ex/his “friend”. The feeling is horrible. I think that it takes some one who really doesn’t care not to feel horrible about it. I spent nights crying about it and asking a friend if I should tell him. I did and we broke up for a while. Most recently, I got cheated on. He told me just like I had told my ex. He cried and told me he understood if I left him. I didn’t.
See the thing about cheating is not everyone applies to the whole “once a cheater always a cheater”. I think when someone seeks to cheat on you and has no shame then be mad. If they do it and feel remorseful then give them one more chance. Sure after that there will be some trust issues but if you see that person genuinely sorry about what they did, try.
I rarely have told people about me cheating because they will see me as a cheater. What they don’t know is that I was abused for it. So much so that I am deathly afraid of cheating again. But honestly, would you tell someone you cheated in the past if you though that they would stay in your future, or does your past say in the past?
Whether you are dating someone or alone there is a lot of blaming going on. Its natural to blame someone or yourself for the failure of a relationship. In some instances it only right because something horrible did happen.
For the most part of my dating history there has been some kind of blame for the end of things. (“He left me”, “He treated me badly”, ect) Ideally in a relationship a spouse would never do anything wrong, realistically they will and you will choose to accept it or leave. So you have to decided what would be your opinion on that particular relationship. Like the people in them, not all relationships are the same. If not all relationships are the same, then you can not handle one like you handled the other.
Consider how you actually feel about the person. Do you love/like them enough to resolve the issue or accept it as is? In my situation I was willing to look past a mistake because my love was greater then that one mistake. Now with the person I was with a two years ago, that would have been completely different. Blaming, though, is no just on others but ourselves.
When we are single for a long period of time we tend to think that something is our fault; the same might go for a break up. When something fails, we question if it might have been our own fault for doing something (or not). Are we so stubborn to accept that sometimes things are just not meant to be that we have to blame someone or something?
Nothing is our fault, we learn from what we do. Just be happy that you have had these chances to. Acceptance is the first step in change.